There is quite a lot of information out there on practical information, such as complex visa proceedings and passing the Life in the UK test, when it comes to living in the UK. Though I am a Nigerian immigrant, I will be of zero help when it comes to such practical and obviously necessary information as I moved to the UK as a teenager over 15 years ago and I know things have massively changed since then when it comes to starting life in the UK legally (things have probably also changed hugely on how to start life here illegally but again I am certainly of no help there either!).

So with 15+ years under my belt as someone who has lived, and I daresay thrived, in the UK, I thought it’d be fun, if not useful, to recount some of the things that helped me get to a place where I can call the UK, specifically England, home.

1. The Brits are just different

Let’s start by stating the obvious. Cultures are different. No matter how much you’d want a Brit to be as easily readable as say a Nigerian, it is unlikely going to happen. British people are less expressive, less dramatic and not as forthcoming as the average Nigerian. This means for the Nigerian fresh off the plane, there will likely be plenty of awkward moments as you try to relate with the generally inscrutable Brits. Some people would even say the British can be two-faced, I personally wouldn’t be so blunt, but one thing is for sure, you will need to grow your ability to discern what a British person really is saying or what they really think of you as they seldom just blurt it out unashamedly as your Nigerian friend would. Just because that colleague of yours says ‘interesting’ a lot in response to all your tales doesn’t actually mean they believe so.

Let’s not get paranoid here, the British speak English so it’s not like you are having to navigate a new language, it’s more cultural than anything else and as time goes on you’ll figure things out. The contrast between British and Nigerian folks is more apparent when dealing with strangers or acquaintances. Whereas you can comfortably and warmly have a full blown, non-alcohol induced, conversation with a Nigerian stranger you meet on the street for the first time back home it is less the norm here.

One scenario that often flabbergasts the non-Brit from an expressive culture is the Brits’ response to a relatively minor mishap or emergency. Case in point, you’re happily walking up the stairs in a London underground station and all of a sudden you trip and fall, almost cascading down the flight of stairs. You expect a yell of panic from at least a couple of fellow commuters and for a small concerned crowd to gather round, helping you up and asking effusively if you’re ok. Well this is unlikely to happen, in fact, it didn’t happen as this event actually involved me a few years ago – I was the one who nearly tumbled down the stairs in a busy station. I was unceremoniously ignored, as people nonchalantly clambered up the stairs around me continuing their journeys completely unbothered. I found this experience hilarious, as at the time I’d lived in the UK for a good few years and was not particularly horrified or shocked by the seeming lack of concern.

It is only until recently I understood what was happening in the average British mind in such a situation. I believe the reason British people ignore minor mishaps is because they do not want to draw added attention to what is already an embarrassing situation. By completely ignoring you, the British are helping you save face. You will find that there are times when you try to help someone who you think needs help and they brush you off embarrassed. You’ve unknowingly broken a sort of social code by reaching out to help someone who can clearly help themselves. Now in scenarios where the mishap is far from minor, the response is very different, still not dramatic, but much more care and concern is shown.

As a new immigrant to the UK, do not expect the daily entertaining melodrama that seems to be the case in bustling cities like Lagos.

Speaking of cities, as a caveat, you will notice cities in the North of England tend to have more of that warmth that is familiar in Naija.

A word of encouragement to the new immigrant – don’t let anyone make you feel weird because you are straightforward, easily excitable and possibly theatrical. The British are used to Nigerians at this stage as they are surrounded by us, so just as we are learning their styles of being, they have and are learning ours. You are not as foreign as you think.

Common sense should tell us (apologies for the directness, I am Nigerian afterall, this apology, though, highlights my Britishness) that the above hosts generalizations and not every Nigerian or Brit fits the above stereotypes but life in the UK will show you that these generalizations are more true than not.

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