This is one you need to get to grips with quickly especially if you don’t own a car. Danfo buses are very prevalent in Lagos, Nigeria and are the main source of transportation for millions of people daily. The modus operandi with these particular types of buses in Lagos is really ‘first come first serve’ in the realest form. No queuing, just standing alert waiting for a bus going your direction with a free seat. There are really no bus timetables to work with, buses come when they come. Once the bus arrives you hop on as quickly as you can and with the most agility you can muster. It doesn’t matter if you were the last person to get to the bus stop; and so in an egalitarian sense you should be the last to get on the bus. No, you just need to be fast. The last becomes the first – if fast. Once aboard said Danfo, anything really should be expected. Silence is a rare possibility. What is more likely is boisterous, sporadic conversation. Sometimes that conversationality features in the form of arguments but nonetheless, conversation with strangers is very normal and unsurprising in these jam packed buses. Personal space isn’t a thing. All you need is a seat and just about enough oxygen . One has hardly lived the Lagos life until they’ve experienced the drama of Danfo buses.

Danfo buses provide a transient platform for discussion on ethics, morality and incredulity. As Lagos is such a buzz, with a trillion things happening all at once and all around, discussion topics are never scarce. There’s always someone somewhere doing or saying something weird which sparks commentary from Danfo passengers. Alternatively, there could be an argument between the bus conductor and a passenger which warrants other passengers to intervene. Danfo buses are not ideal for quietly reading a book on your daily commute. They are more suited for engaging in fiery conversations or altercations, which means you arrive at work fully awake and energised. Again, these conversations, which everyone is usually welcome to join in, make you a part of something, your voice matters.

Now, transportation in the UK almost has no similarity to voyaging in Lagos beyond the fact that you are conveyed from one place to the other. Everything from the speed, comfort and vibe with which you get to your destination is different.

As a new immigrant one of the first things you should figure out is to identify when you need to queue. British people take this seriously. I was once told off by a granny in my early days in the UK for jumping a queue unknowingly. If you see people huddled around a bus stop or even on the underground platform (though very rare) in something that looks even vaguely like a line, make sure to confirm whether or not it is a queue before hustling to the closest possible spot that gives you quick access to vehicle entry like I usually do. For someone used to using speed and wits to get on public transport back home, having to humbly queue is annoying and underwhelming but it is what it is.

If you live in London and you are on the underground, as a newbie London commuter, you are advised to either take a seat or have a firm grip on something. Do not compare yourself to those people who seem to be able to keep their stamina while free standing and holding on to nothing. They are at the pro level of underground commuter travel. Except you have previous experience travelling on underground trains in some other part of the world , you are a novice. If you do not hold on to something steady, you will be caught off guard when the train suddenly jerks, and jerk it will. If you are lucky you will only stagger dangerously, if you are not so lucky you will barge into someone else or outright fall to the floor. And if you read my previous post on how the English respond to minor mishaps, you will know once you do fall you are very likely to be respectfully ignored except you obviously hurt yourself or someone else. So until you master the craft of free standing on the London underground, seat down or hold something. Be humble.

There is more to say about tube transportation in London. Eye contact with fellow passengers is considered awkward, so look everywhere but directly into the eyes of your fellow passengers. Secondly, and this is the case for buses too – do not start a random conversation with your fellow commuters. I repeat, do not start a random conversation. At best you’ll get someone who doesn’t think you’re are a nutter (cray cray) give a one word response, nod or awkward smile. It’s just not the thing. Public transportation in the UK is not where to seek out vibrant conversation. Is it absolutely impossible, of course not. Is it as prevalent as is the case back home in Nigeria, absolutely not. The motto is, seat down and mind your business.

There is one thing that may, however, spark the spirits of a Lagos commuter turned London commuter. Running for buses and trains is still a thing especially if you lack patience and don’t want to wait for the next one or according to the time table, if you miss this one you’d be waiting a long time. This is your opportunity to revive the vigour of public transport entry you may have missed. Run! Put your now latent hustling skills to use and run!