There is a spontaneity and unannounced nature to the social sphere in Nigeria which is anathema to Brits and British residents. I make a distinction between Brits and British residents here on purpose because I believe this hatred for a type of spontaneous socialisation is often quickly imbibed by new immigrants (i.e. British residents), interestingly/suspiciously.

So what am I talking about? Those who’ve grown up in Nigeria will likely understand the phenomenon where one can casually visit a friend completely unannounced and be welcomed with an open door and open arms, and maybe even a plate of food. There’s a constant, relegated, expectation in every host’s mind that a visitor may arrive at any moment. Of course, these visits are timed when a host is likely to be home such as after work or on the weekend. Also, the visits are usually made by visitors who live reasonably nearby, which means disappointment of perhaps not finding a host at home is not taken too badly. The visitor can easily retrace their steps back home with little harm to energy, fuel or finances. In other words, there is sense in the spontaneity; it’s not harebrained. Another thing that makes these surprise visits fairly common is the ‘outside’ nature of life in Lagos I believe. It’s warm, and verandas, patios etc are common. People can easily see your presence whilst walking down the street and decide to ‘branch’ by for a visit.

One thing to confess is that I am, to be honest, depicting my life as a kid in the 2000s. With the over abundance of mobile phones and the magneticism of social media, it is very possible people are now more inclined to insular, non-wandering lives and would rather binge watch some K-drama than gallivant the streets, conducting surprise visits!

That said, in the UK, visiting even a family member unannounced is probably as bad as snatching a wig off someone’s head. You don’t do it. You just don’t. You need to give notice that you will be presenting yourself before launching into someone’s home and life. Spontaneous visits are an insult and will be greeted with a cold reception or an obviously fake welcome. No one arrives unannounced at anyone’s home twice as the first time will forever scar the untrained visitor. A relative based here in the UK once told me of a time he spontaneously visited a friend he’d gone to high school with in Nigeria unannounced. He’d only just moved to the UK and was unaware of these little subtleties. Well, suffice it to say that the friendship dwindled from that day on.

To be fair, I will say I have witnessed unannounced visits, usually by young people, in villages or small towns in the UK. The kinds of places you can let your children wander off with no fear. The norm though is to give notice before casting your shadow on anyone’s door.

I mentioned how it’s interesting that new migrants imbibe this British disgust for unannounced visits so quickly, myself included, as I would be genuinely upset if anyone just popped up at my door for a visit without prior warning. I wonder if this suspiciously quick acceptance of this very British proclivity is because immigrants from uber welcoming cultures probably low-key resented the pressure of unannounced visits. On the other hand, I can’t imagine this is the case in the average Nigerian home, as if there’s one thing a Nigerian will do, it is to tell you the truth, in the most unembellished, direct way possible.